The universe is cruel

Every time I make a rational choice, it leads me to a dead end, every one of them. It’s as if all my choices are pointless because it’s trying to lead me to something else, like the universe wants me to do nothing, just go along for the ride and see where it drops me off, maybe at another dead end or maybe with my head hitting the curb. I try to keep a positive attitude about life but my life is like a babies first steps towards failure. I fail even when I don’t intent it, at the moment, I’m just observing the mechanics behind the greatest show I’m not part of, and I realize there is nothing I can do to change anything, not people, not feelings, not ideas, nothing, I am powerless. Every time I make one step ahead, some invisible force is preventing me from succeeding.

Universe why are you against me

So, why are we violent?

Maybe because we were not made to be peaceful, happy, and mindful, we were made to be destructive so we can look upon each other and think of all the pain and suffering caused to each other. This may be hard for some to digest, but for all the reason in the world, God wants us to be destroyed on purpose,  so that he can rebuild us when our barracks are open and he can step in. Think of this, every drug addict thinks he’s okay until he realizes he needs help.

We need to break ourselves if God is going to rebuild us.

Striptease morality

A domesticated pig can instantly turn into a wild boar instantaneously when he escapes his pen, they do this because they are no longer under the rules of human hands, from that moment in time they act upon their own pleasures and interest. I can’t help but think if you strip a man of his morality he can also instantaneously become a barbaric individual. Since we are not animals, we can feel morality jump on our heads stimulating and arousing our instincts, though you can put aside this morality and move on with your new life, but you can’t ignore it until you have completely placed it in the dark where it doesn’t have any stimulating effect on you, to which some men compromise the change, up until this point you’re as soulless as a walking zombie . But it will always be unconscious, until something stimulates it.

If our government should implode and crumble, then there is no condemnation for breaking the law, some men would be inclined to believe he is free from all known law, but what the law really is, it’s restriction and regulation of our human nature, because we can be a dirty kind when the wrong ideas are stimulated. Suddenly our dignity is forfeited because the stronger of the pleasure will control us. The truth is this, the law of God doesn’t register to human pleasures, it registers to Gods ideals and pleasures. But then I wonder, why did God create such a violent species that could not under any circumstance uphold the law.

we are all just educated fools

Don’t throw your education in my face and I won’t throw my intelligence in yours, is what I say to people who find my lack of proper education  inconvenient to their choking turtle neck. Should I really be blame for not knowing my subjects academically, the simple answer is no, there is too much knowledge that we can’t gain the whole worlds understanding with a few book selections in a library, if you think your smart enough, think again, your just a boy scout learning what has already been discovered, your merely just practicing someone elses ideas, then the biggest shame is quoting someone elses hard work in a discussion without trying to support your arguments with quotations.

Lets take a look at mathematics for a moment, someone sat there and observed the universes and condensesed it down to numbers, I don’t know how long it took, but obviously at this point, math is used in just about everything invented or discovered or just to help us along the way for a simpler life. Now days, you can go to school and learn someone elses lifes work but it doesn’t make you smart or intelligent by any sense of the word, it only makes you an educated fool. You can live your whole life knowing how to add and subtract and never do anything significant with mathematics and that’s fine, no argument there.

A knowledgeable person isn’t necessarily smart or intelligent, for I have the same chance to learn my multiplication table, mathematics is a certain kind of thing that can be applied to anything. I am willing to admit the founders of mathematics can be known as ingenious thinkers for they saw something in the unknown world that was deduced to numbers, but now days  mathematics has its foundations laid out for us to memorize, we no longer have to think much about it, because knowledge is memory, not intelligence, they’re just maxims, like saying the ABC. This can be applied to history, social studies, literature, grammar, etc. etc. we are all just learning someone elses hard work and we all think we are intelligent for saying 2+2=4 or Christopher Columbus was a explorer, or that the sun has a perfect gravitational pull.

But I will say this, those who take the rudiments of their education and apply them to newer conceptual ideas can be considered intelligent because they are attempting to evolve ideas with their education. Einstein is a genius along with every other man that has created or discovered something horrifying or something simply beautiful.

I’m only concerned with one thing only, my rationality and common-sense, I’ve meet too many educated individuals who don’t carry an ounce of intelligent thinking

I am blessed

God has given me everything necessary to do what is required, I possess a body that can think, speak, feel, taste, hear, reason, labor, worship, etc. and everything else in between. I need nothing else because I’m already blessed and God expects me to take advantage with what he has given me.  If  a farmer buys land, he plants seeds, I make my own path because I can make it prosper. As I realize this truth, I look around me to find the human species looking in the wrong places, no wonder the church has their hands deep in the pockets of ignorance, the congregations confidence is torn apart.

9: Thou shall not lie

God requires that no man should lie, but that is the very problem, we lie because we have to, not because we find it a benefit, but because we are forced to lie in certain situations and I am very bothered by this idea. I try to live a very honest life, but I am meet with restrictions with my truth, at the heart of it all, I’m going against morals and standards and righteousness. The irony of that commandment is that we cannot keep it, nor can we perfect it, but we are “it”and can become “more of it”. It’s odd to come to realization of this truth when it saddens me to acknowledge it. Yet, religious people aren’t fully aware by how much they lie, because the fraction is so small, they do not notice it. We are not fools to the reality of how things are once we are old enough understand how the mechanics works. You can live an honest life if you choose, but you do it at an expense, our honesty can cause hurt, pain and tears, even death, It saved Abraham life and it can save yours if you use your head, which is also a saying from Christ, “your mind like serpents and your heart like children” I am not encouraging we lie every chance we have, because that would be the wrong idea of this message, but only when it is necessary and that should be seldoms, God understands…I hope.

We spoiled our goods

Life ain’t gone to hell when you’ve seen the face of a man whos been through shit, then you are forced to object to your silly depressed state of mind and tear through it like a transformation from catepillar to butterfly. Selling your misery like a salesman to find a sale in the breast and legs of a women or to be understood and cried for like silly love movie. But life ain’t like the movies, and it definitely don’t end happy, until you realize your face the next day ain’t like the same it used to be, it’s got a new texture, a new look, its disfigured, the feeling is awkward and the taste of life is gone, but you cry yourself to sleep at night waiting to wake up from this perpetual nightmare, but things are the way they are, this is reality and it’s horrible if you can’t handle it’s overwhelming affairs. In the mirror, you give yourself stares, only to recognized you had your goods corrupted by your evils and when the awareness of our corrupted goods have been known, we desire it back like a a daydream, to be reconciled with it once again like a lost photo. We are  spoiled goods and God ain’t happy with how we are handling our lives, perhaps if we learn how to find happiness in matter and atoms, then we’ll learn to how love and honor God with what little he will give us. We can start by simply appreciating the function of breathing! Maybe you don’t realize it yet, but I hope one day you do, because I’m forever be haunted by the face of a man who taught me things just by his stare of his eyes, they lure you deeper than wonderland, it’s evolving to know you’ve been a fool for so long.

Lack of comments

Notice there is a lack of comments, geez people, bring on the pain, make my attempts to proove myself right a living hell so that I can no longer proove myself, I want to find every crack and blemmish of my thinking, then the realization of my foolishness, then I will crawl back on my belly to evolve another way. These are just my layman ideas, which means my most uneducated opinions on things theologians and philosophers can laugh at as I attempt to create intelligent discourse, stop laughing and bring out the knives, lets do the beat it dance from micheal jackson as they have a knive play in the most unvolient way.

We choose to be free of the will

A conversation with my friend got me thinking about my faith in God, he proposed that all and everything that exist is predetermined, at the moment he’s a fatalist. while I disagree with his point of view, I on the other hand profess to have a limited amount of freewill against the unforgiving  laws of nature. He says, Even though if we were to test our sense of freewill, jumping through a window to land on your front lawn to begin eating grass and dirt wouldn’t help prove your freewill, because how would we really know that was already going to happen, so essentially there really is no way of proving anything, and I somewhat agree.

But I retort

Lets just assume for the moment that all and everything is determined, bringing God into the equation makes things much more complicated because, if he determines everything, then what’s the point of morality, the point of responsibility, of denying the self, Salvation and grace etc. all your hopes and dreams is a mere delusion, your just as hopeless as a test dummy on a crash course. There was really no sense of choice, the ability to choose God, or rebel against him. A 10 year old girl raped and killed wasn’t bad timing or chance, but organized by the mind of God, every touch and every kiss, and penetration, her cries and tears, her bruses and cuts, all written and directed by God, even the pleasure the man gets from it, and that saddens me if this is true.

If God requires men to repent, then obviously there is a sense of responsibility and choice, he requires us all to come to the realization we are sinners and have rebeled against Him, to rekindle their will to his. I get the feeling God has an inability to change the human species without them first admitting into existence their own despairity, like saying goes, “you can’t help someone who can’t help themselves” and I believe that even applies to the will of God. So, if the human species have a real responsibility and choice, then it makes perfect sense why God has time after time, asked men to surrender themselves to a even more perfect will, which leads me to my next point that I have been considering about latetly that is pivotal to this post.

Above I said, we have rebeled against God and he wants us to rekindle our will to his, perhaps maybe we possess freewill and if we choose too, we can become like animals and forget there ever was a God, or feel the weight of morality guilt your consciousness and evolve forward in understanding a more complex side of the will. Lets move forward a little, lets assume, every choice you have made up until this point was all very real, God has given us free will, yet at the same time, he requires men to repent and rekindle our will to his, so what exactly is he offering? maybe the perfect will, but we lose our will at a cost if we pursue the will of God. Yet while the world continues in their parades, they all have a freewill, that is “free” from God, but a will nonetheless, but the moment we surrender to God, we lose our freewill and have adopted the will of God.

Something I have been thinking about, sorry about my layman theories, work with me on this.

We are not monkeys in cages…

…we are human beings that understand our own spoken language!

We have the ability to communicate to each other and what distraught me the most is when people believe they can understand by observing a person do things and they may never actually communicate to them intimately.

We are all watching but never talking, all scared but never fearless.

What do we know about animals? absolutely nothing! we are forced to observe them, and what we theorize is based on contingencies , closes we can get to a rational objection about why monkeys business is monkey business.  If we could express monkey talk and communicate to them, I bet we could learn a lot about time travel, but all we are left to say, “they love sex and bananas…and the occasional psychedelic trips”

So as I develop relationships with people, I learn many things about my species, they are all afraid of each other, all too arrogant, all much like fools. It’s the superficiality of “watching” man, and we could never hope to discover a more complex side of a individual, unless there was a way for two human beings to be conjoined for a moment in time and space to express ideas.